And scarce can he take any rest, or be quiet, insomuch that his body were not able to undergo such vexation and pain, were it not that our Lord of His mercy sometimes comforteth him by the consideration of His Passion, and devotion wrought in him thereto; or by some other means as He seeth good. After this manner worketh He in some men’s hearts more or less, as He will, and this is through His great mercy, that not only will He forgive the sin or the trespass, but will both forgive the trespass and the pain due for it in Purgatory, for such a little pain here felt in the remorse and biting of conscience. Also, to make a man rightly to receive any special gift or degree of the love of God, it behoveth that he first be scoured and cleansed by such a fire of compunction for all his great sins before done. Of this kind of exercise of compunction often David speaks in the Psalter, but especially in the psalm, Miserere mei, Deus—Have mercy on me, O God. (John Climacus)

If there is a purgatory or a hell, I conceive it as a passing-through, a scouring, a process of experiencing the pain I have caused.

If heaven is a restored unity with God, as we cross into the full awareness of God we will know all that we have done and left undone.

In that knowing we will feel the hunger, fear, isolation, doubt, and more that our action and inaction produced.

Perfect empathy will be, at least for me, profoundly painful. But as my life is finite, so will be the pain that I have caused.

My hope is in the infinite love of God.