All this the devil worketh (by God’s permission) to make them repent of their good purposes, and turn back to their former courses of sinning. But whoso will abide, and suffer a little pain, and not turn again to sin for anything, the hand of our Lord is full near, and will help them right soon, for He hath much care of that man that is in such a case, though he knoweth it not; for so saith David in the person of our Lord: I am with him in trouble, I will deliver him, and he shall glorify Me. (John Climacus)

As far as I can tell, I do not require the devil to get me sinning. I am expertly self-motivating.

My most effective object of motivation is external validation. Am I attractive? Am I witty? Am I knowledgable? Am I wise?

Who will tell me? Whose opinion matters? How can I show them? What validation is sufficient? What can they say or do to satisfy me?

Such vanity, when fully indulged, is more than enough to separate me from God. A minute of self-absorption is enough to distract me for a day or more.

The only release from such self-doubt is when I have been closest to God. Yet like a moth to a flame, again and again I am drawn to vanity's false light