The hypocrite also sinneth deadly in pride. He is an hypocrite that chooseth vain joy in himself, as the rest and full delight of his heart in this manner. When a man doth many good deeds bodily and ghostly, and then is put into his mind by the suggestion of the enemy, the beholding of himself and those good deeds, how good, how holy he is, how worthy in men’s deem, and how high in God’s sight, above other men, he perceiveth this stirring, and receiveth it willingly, for he judgeth it to be good, and from God, forasmuch as it is true (for he doth these good deeds better than other men). And when it is received thus by consent of his will, there ariseth from it in his heart so great a love and delight in himself, that he hath so much grace, that for the time it ravisheth his mind out of all other thoughts, both corporal and spiritual, and setteth it upon vain joy in himself, as on a rest of his heart. (John Climacus)

This is not my problem. But there is something here that illuminates my problem.

I do not love myself or my neighbor or my God. In each case - and most harshly with myself - I do not extend the object of love the full honor that love requires.

It seems to me that love involves accepting - actually, celebrating - the full reality of the one we love.

With God this is difficult because God's full reality is beyond my understanding. Likewise my neighbor often remains a bit of a mystery. But with each of these objects, my honoring may be a bit abstract, not fully celebratory, but it is reasonably honest.

With myself, whose reality I best understand, I am often harsh and intolerant; going beyond self-critique to something unhelpful, unhealthy, and unloving.