For though it be so that thou feelest no evil against thy neighbour for a time, yet art thou not secure that the ground of anger is quenched in thee; neither yet art thou lord and master of the virtue of charity. For let him but touch thee a little angrily, or by a shrewd word, and thou shalt see presently whether thy heart be yet made whole by perfect charity. The more thou art stirred and evil-willed against his person, the further art thou from charity. And if thou be nothing stirred against his person, neither by any angry carriage or gesture outwardly, nor by any privy hate in thy heart, either to despise or judge him, or undervalue, or set him at nought; but the more shame or villainy he doth to thee by word or deed, the more pity and compassion thou hast of him, as thou wouldst have of a man that were out of his wits, and thinkest that thou canst not find in thy heart to hate him (because love is so good in itself) but pray for him and help him and desire his amendment, not only with thy mouth, as hypocrites can do, but with affection of love in thy heart; then hast thou perfect charity to thy neighbour. (John Climacus)

This is a difficult lesson.

It is easy to feel love from a distance. Most of what we mistake as love is merely sentimental imaginings.

But Climacus argues we are to actively love the real people who are present, even when they are hurling at us "shame and villainy".

When I encounter such real people I am very much inclined to set them at nought, in other words to withdraw.

I have felt some pride in my ability to withdraw without rancor and while claiming to honor the other person. This is, Climacus insists, the pride of a hypocrite.