But thou wilt say, wherein did this Pharisee amiss, since he thanked God and spoke the truth? I answer he did amiss, inasmuch as he judged and reproved the Publican in his heart, who was justified of God. And he also did amiss, for he thanked God only with his mouth, but secretly in his heart he willingly delighted in himself through pride and glorying in the gifts of God, stealing to himself the honour of them, and the praise and love due to God. This is the condition verily of Heretics and Hypocrites, they will not willingly pray, and if they pray, do not humble themselves, acknowledging their wretchedness, but feigningly thank and love God, and speak of Him with their mouth, but their delight is vain and false, and not in God, and yet they do not think so, for they cannot love God. (John Climacus)

In private prayer I acknowledge my profound failings. I sometimes curse myself aloud.

But this does not prove my humility. Rather it demonstrates how far I remain from humility.

Intellectually and spiritually I recognize my dependence on God. But there continues a strong aspect of will that seeks validation and acclaim... for myself.

Whatever wisdom I have to apply has emerged from my relationship with God. Yet like some forger, I seek to claim the value of what another has produced.

I will be happier with myself and in my relationships when I can act with a humility that is joyously at one with God.

(Above John is drawing on the 18th chapter of Luke.)