Scripture says: "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." Just so, blessed are those who feel that grace has been withdrawn from them and no longer find any consolation in their hearts, only constant tribulation and a dark abyss, but even so do not give in to despair. Instead, they take strength from their faith so as to bear up courageously, secure in the thought that in this way they are experiencing the vision of the Invisible One. (John of Karpathos)

When I have fallen into an abyss, I cannot blame it on being pushed. I have, as far as I can tell, always stumbled into the darkness of my own accord.

Getting out is another matter. There have been occasions when I have pulled my way out mostly on my own. But more often I need help. So far, God has always been there.

This does not mean the tribulation suddenly ends. It does not mean I am lifted out on the wings of angel. The darkness has sometimes persisted for a very long time.

But God has joined me in the darkness and strengthens me in struggling with tribulation. There is grace even - especially - in the deepest pit of despair.

Perhaps God withdraws only from those much stronger than me. Or is there a difference between withdrawal of grace and the absence of God?